The Chronicles of a High-EQ Leader
For tech founders and senior engineering leaders who want to get out of the operational loop without losing control
The more capable you are, the easier it is to become the person everyone depends on.
You step in when decisions stall.
You solve the difficult problems.
You protect the team when delivery is at risk.
You fill the gaps because it feels faster than waiting.
It works, until it becomes the way the organization operates.
Your team keeps escalating decisions.
Important work slows down when you are unavailable.
Your calendar fills with problems that should no longer require you.
And the work only you can do keeps getting pushed aside.
This newsletter is about breaking that pattern.
Not by simply “delegating more,” but by changing the system that keeps pulling you back in.
The dependency loop
Dependency rarely looks like dependency from the inside.
It often looks like responsibility.
You step in because the stakes are high, the team is under pressure, or the quality is slipping. Your intervention solves the immediate problem, but it can also teach the organization to wait for you the next time.
The more often you rescue the system, the more the system organizes itself around your involvement.
That is the loop.
Getting out of it does not mean stepping back from everything. It means becoming much clearer about:
what only you should own
what you may own temporarily
what should never depend on you
when to intervene and when to let others take ownership
how to transfer responsibility without losing visibility or standards
The goal is not to become less involved.
It is to make your involvement intentional.
What you’ll find here
The Chronicles of a High-EQ Leader explores the real situations that keep experienced leaders stuck in the loop:
teams that escalate too many decisions
leaders who have become the default problem solver
delegation that transfers tasks but not ownership
quality or delivery dropping when the leader steps back
senior leaders buried in operational and administrative work
difficult conversations that are repeatedly avoided
emotional triggers that pull leaders back into fixer mode
organizations that appear empowered but still depend on one person
I write about these situations through practical examples, leadership experience, coaching conversations, and the FITS framework I developed for identifying and reducing unhealthy dependency.
Why emotional intelligence still matters
Getting out of the loop is not only a question of structure or delegation.
It also requires leaders to notice what pulls them back in.
Sometimes it is impatience.
Sometimes it is fear that the team will fail.
Sometimes it is the need to remain useful, informed, or in control.
Sometimes the organization has simply learned that involving you is the safest option.
Emotional intelligence helps leaders recognize these patterns before reacting to them.
It creates the space to make a deliberate leadership decision instead of automatically stepping in.
Who this is for
This newsletter is for tech founders and senior engineering leaders who:
lead multiple teams or other leaders
are still pulled too deeply into execution
struggle to protect time for strategic work
feel responsible for too many decisions
want their teams to take greater ownership
need to step back without allowing standards to fall
If people are capable but the organization still relies too heavily on you, you are in the right place.
About the author
I’m Djordje Mladenovic.
I have spent more than 15 years in the tech industry and more than 13 years leading engineers, teams, and engineering leaders.
Throughout my career, I kept seeing the same pattern.
The most capable leaders often became the biggest point of dependency in their organizations.
Not because they were poor leaders, but because they were experienced, reliable, and able to solve problems quickly. Over time, their helpfulness became part of the operating model.
I have experienced that pull myself.
I have also seen what changes when a leader becomes more deliberate about where they step in, what they hold onto, and how they build real ownership around them.
Today, I write about those lessons and work privately with tech founders and senior engineering leaders who want to get out of the loop.
Coaching
I work privately with leaders who have become too central to how their teams or organizations operate.
The work is practical and based on the leader’s current situation.
We identify where dependency has formed, what keeps reinforcing it, and how to transfer ownership without losing visibility, trust, or delivery standards.
The aim is not simply to clear your calendar.
It is to help you move from being the person who keeps everything moving to the leader who builds a system that can move without them.
