The 3R Detachment Check-In

Use this anytime you find yourself over-identifying with your role, a situation at work, or a piece of feedback.

This quick mental framework helps emotionally intelligent leaders recenter themselves and take more intentional action – instead of spiraling into shame, ego, or fear.

Step 1: ✨ Recognize

"What am I feeling right now, and where is it coming from?"

• Are you feeling shame, anger, defensiveness, fear, or guilt?
• Did a situation trigger an old belief like "I'm not good enough" or "I'm failing as a leader"?
• Is this feeling coming from today's situation – or something deeper or older?

The goal is to pause and observe the emotional reaction without judgment.

Step 2: 💡 Reframe

"Am I making this about who I am, instead of what I can learn?"

• Are you attaching your identity to this moment? ("I'm a bad leader." "I can't handle this.")
• Can you shift from identity to insight? ("This is a chance to grow." "I'm learning to handle hard things.")
• What would you say to a friend in the same situation?

Reframing breaks the cycle of self-judgment and opens the door to self-compassion.

Step 3: 🔄 Redirect

"What's the next helpful action I can take from a grounded place?"

• Do you need to clarify expectations, have a conversation, or simply let go?
• Can you respond instead of react?
• What would leadership look like if it came from your values – not your ego?

This step helps you return to leadership with intention, not impulse.

Use this check-in before difficult conversations, after a triggering moment, or whenever you feel like you're spiraling.

It takes 90 seconds.
It brings you back to yourself.

You are not your job. You are your presence.

📥 Download the Framework

Get a printable version of The Framework here: