EQ-SBI Framework

Difficult conversations are inevitable in engineering leadership – whether it’s addressing inappropriate behavior, confronting a peer who backstabbed you, or dealing with underperformance.

The SBI model, strengthened with emotional intelligence (EQ), gives you a way to handle them factually, calmly, and with integrity.

1. 🧘 Regulate Yourself First

• Don’t enter the conversation emotionally charged – anger undermines credibility.
• If needed, take time to cool down and write your points before speaking.
• Your composure is part of the message.

2. 🎯 Open with Purpose and Safety

• Begin with a neutral, forward-looking statement:

“I want to talk about something important so we can move forward productively.”

• This shows the goal is resolution, not punishment.

3. 🗂 Deliver the SBI Sequence

• Situation – State the exact time, place, and context.
• Behavior – Describe the observable action, not motive or character.
• Impact – Explain the specific, tangible effect on people, work, or trust.
• Avoid vague terms like “always” or “never” – precision matters.

4. 👂 Listen, Then Anchor Back to Facts

• Let them respond fully – don’t interrupt.
• If they deflect or raise unrelated issues, acknowledge and return to the main point:

“We can discuss that later – right now, I want to resolve this specific situation.”

5. 📝 Close with Clear Next Steps

• End with clarity:

“Going forward, here’s what I expect…”

• Where possible, document the agreement to prevent future misunderstandings.

6. 🧠 Follow Up and Observe

• Watch for behavior change – improvement or repetition.
• Recognize and reinforce positive change quickly.

Why It Works

The SBI structure ensures clarity and fairness.

The EQ element ensures delivery that reduces defensiveness and keeps the conversation constructive. Together, they help you resolve issues without damaging your credibility or relationships.

📥 Download the Framework

Get a printable version of the framework here: